I could fight, but I really seem to like to flight...

I don’t always end things with guys well. I don’t mean the guys that I date for a while, I mean the guys that I’ve gone on one or two dates with and I wasn’t feeling it. I really dislike telling someone that I don’t like their personality, I feel like it might hurt their feelings, moreover, I just don’t like feeling awkward and that’s an awkward conversation. I feel like in all likelihood I’m never going to have to see them again, so why ruin my day with that phone call.

There is one problem I have though and it’s when I’m caught off guard and my “fight or flight” response kicks in... I “flight”. One night I was walking down an empty neighbourhood street with a male friend of mine when a cat jumped out of the bushes... I pushed him at it and ran backward. I don’t think about my responses, they just happen, especially when I’m caught off guard and it’s someone I don’t want to see.

I had gone on a few dates with a guy and the dates were really fun, and he was very nice, but I was seeing someone else at the time that I liked more. So I just stopped answering his calls, and he left voicemails questioning why I wasn’t calling him back. Eventually they stopped and I forgot all about him, until 3 months later when I walked into a Starbucks. I had walked in through the door as someone else was leaving and there he was standing at the counter not 6ft away, directly in front of me. I didn’t have time to think I just knew I didn’t want to be there and my “fight or flight” kicked in. So I flit, I turned around to get out of there as fast as I could and... I walked face first right into the now closed door that was behind me. The good news was it didn’t turn out to be the guy I went on dates with, the bad news was I had to switch Starbucks because everyone there thought I was manic.

There was another time that I was in a grocery store shopping and I saw a guy that I had brushed off, the last thing that I wanted to do was get into a conversation with him. Without thinking I turned around as fast as I could and walked right into a gift card display that had been hanging at the end of an aisle. I knocked it to the ground and gift cards went flying everywhere, literally they were everywhere. I was in hell, as I was on the ground in my heels and skirt trying to shuffle them together I swear I could hear the guy laughing at the other end of the aisle, but I used whatever dignity I had left and didn’t look to check.

I don’t know why I always flight when I could just as easily fight. I suppose it’s because I look at my shoes as being my children, and if I’m in a situation, I just need to make sure that they get out of harm’s way. It must be my maternal instinct kicking in. Whatever the reason, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there will be many more incidents like this in the future, I mean, I still have years of dating ahead of me...