There’s a reason that I don’t go out with friends of friends, and that’s because it gets messy fast. So when I break this rule I usually regret it later.
I was talking to a girl friend of mine [Angie] last night, she had set me up with a friend of hers and the date didn’t go well. Actually if you’ve been keeping up with the blog please refer back to my post “When playing crazy on a date goes wrong”.
Angie said that he called her a couple of days after the date to see what I had thought of him. She told him that I felt we would be better off as friends. She said that he was embarrassed because he felt that he did something wrong on the date (well, he did stand outside of a drugstore waiting for me after I told him to go home). Then Angie told me that he has stopped calling her, and it’s probably because he thinks I told her everything about the date (um… yeah, that story was gold. It launched this blog!). Either way, there are many things that can go wrong when you decided to date a friend of a friend, even if it’s only one date. And for me, especially if I get bored on that date because I always find a way to entertain myself.
Now, a very close male friend of mine, Hayden, introduced me to his best friend, Phil, who was in town for the holidays. He lives about 4 hours away, we hit it off and kept in touch. About 6 months after our first meeting Phil asked me to be his date to a wedding, and never passing up an opportunity to get dressed up and drink champagne I happily accepted. We had never actually been on a date, but now I was going away for the weekend with him. Everything went well for the most part actually, I had fun.
I hadn’t really told Hayden about going to the wedding with his best friend, I really didn’t see anything happening between Phil and me. And when it comes down to it, I would rather keep Hayden for a friend any day then risk our friendship to try to date one of his friends.
It was 2 weeks before the Labor Day long weekend and Phil called and asked me if I would like to come out to his cottage for the long weekend, go boating, etc. I told him maybe and that I needed to think about it.
I was talking to Hayden later that same week and he started talking about Phil. Hayden said he was mad because Phil had just invited a girl that he wanted out to his cottage for the long weekend. Surprised I told Hayden that Phil had also asked me to his cottage. Hayden said “yeah, but you said no.” and I corrected him and told him “I didn’t say no, I said maybe, but now it’s a no”.
Hayden was so entertained by this that he wanted me to phone Phil and tell him that I had decided that I was going to come out and see him for the long weekend after all, just to see what he would do. It crossed my mind, and although it probably would have been fun to watch the weekend unfold, I just didn’t care enough to travel 4 hours for it.
Dating friends of friends is messy and it’s usually the relationship with your friend that can get strained if things aren’t working out. I love my friends, that’s why I like to date people that they don’t know. This way they don’t get caught in the middle if I happen to sneak out the back door of a restaurant during dinner. It’s just better this way.
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