I take preventative measures to ignore people trying to get my attention when I’m walking down the street. I always have my headphones in my ears, although there’s not always music playing. I also either have my sunglasses or a hat on so I can avoid eye contact with people. I’m not trying to be anti-social; I just don’t like being bothered in the street, because more often then not, it’s someone that I don’t want to acknowledge.
Every now and then I get 2 or 3 guys that are walking behind me and try to get my attention; it usually goes something like this;
“Hey!...Hey Hot girl!… Hey girl in the black coat! Hey!”
“Dude, she can’t hear you, she’s listening to her ipod.”
(Yes, because if I could hear you yelling for my attention in the street, I would definitely give you my number)
One time I was standing beside a guy at the crosswalk, sunglasses on, headphones in, and I could see he was trying to get my attention, but I ignored him. Then he started tapping my shoulder… I don’t like to be touched, I have a bubble, and he was definitely in it. I took my headphone out of my ear and said “yes?” he replied “how’s it going?” I said “fine.” Then he gave me a creepy smile that I’m sure he usually reserved for small children. I promptly put my headphones back in.
Of course then we have the guys that honk their car horns. I was in the car with a male friend of mine once and there was a pretty girl walking down the street. He said “look at her…” and then went to hit the horn. I grabbed his hand and asked him why he would honk at a girl. To which he replied “What? Girls like it when you honk at them...”.
Um…what? I couldn’t understand what would ever give a man the impression that a person likes to be honked at while they walk down the street. And what are you going to do, if by some unlikely chance, the girl actually smiled back at you? Park the car and run down the street after her? That wouldn’t scream desperate and mentally unbalanced at all.
Car horns should only be used for road rage and to warn the children playing in the street that you don’t intend on stopping or slowing down your fast approaching vehicle.
So please, do the men in your life a favor and kindly remind them to leave the pretty girl walking down the street alone.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Oh my, how will I ever get the cereal down from the top shelf...
Meeting new guys is easy; you just have to put yourself in the right place at the right time. Then laugh later about what a coincidence it was that you were both in the same place at the right time.
My favorite new way to meet a guy is to wear a baseball cap. I bought a Toronto Maple Leafs hat to wear back and forth from the gym and quickly realized that I had found the best ice breaker ever. No matter where I was I had guys coming up to me, they would tell me that they were from Toronto, or ask me how I could support a team that constantly loses. I wore it to a pub and instantly had 4 guys start a conversation with me. For the record I view the Leafs like a one legged man in a race; you know he’s not going to win but you cheer him on all the same for still trying. Anyway, you’ll get many more guys that will come up to you if you have a controversial team’s logo on your hat; no one cares if you support the home team, that’s expected. One wise word of warning – learn at least one players name from the team because it got really awkward when I was asked who my favorite player was.
The grocery store is great because there are so many things you can ask a cute guy to help you with. Like if you both happen to be in the cereal aisle, and you just can’t reach the top shelf to get the Lucky Charms down. That’s when you turn to the good looking guy beside you, put that helpless look on your face and ask him if he could possibly try to help you. Guys love to feel needed, even better if they think you would be completely lost if they weren’t there to help you. After they get the cereal for you, make sure they know how much you appreciate it, try saying; “thank you so much. I don’t know why they make these shelves so high. I should have you every time I go grocery shopping.” Then smile and giggle. Hopefully you are able to start up a conversation from his response, and even if he doesn’t ask for your number, chances are that he’s a regular at the grocery store so the next time you see him, you can approach him. You can also try asking for help opening those god awful plastic bags in the produce section, or ask how you can tell if a fruit is ripe.
Obviously you may not need help, and are fully capable of doing things for yourself, but a wise woman once told me that every now and then a guy needs to think that you do need him. She demonstrated this by taking her glasses off and asking a young guy to fix them for her (there was nothing wrong with her glasses). He took them in his hands and looked at them, then she said “you fixed them, thank you” and tried to take them back. But the guy was adamant that he should tighten the screws and ran off to go find something that he could use to accomplish that. When he came back he was beaming with pride and happily handed the “fixed” glasses back over (the funny part is that he actually ended up breaking the screw inside the arm of the glasses, and they had to be taken in to be repaired). I’m not saying be totally helpless, because that’s unattractive. I like to think of it as “playing Snow White” every now and again, just to let them feel like a Prince.
My favorite new way to meet a guy is to wear a baseball cap. I bought a Toronto Maple Leafs hat to wear back and forth from the gym and quickly realized that I had found the best ice breaker ever. No matter where I was I had guys coming up to me, they would tell me that they were from Toronto, or ask me how I could support a team that constantly loses. I wore it to a pub and instantly had 4 guys start a conversation with me. For the record I view the Leafs like a one legged man in a race; you know he’s not going to win but you cheer him on all the same for still trying. Anyway, you’ll get many more guys that will come up to you if you have a controversial team’s logo on your hat; no one cares if you support the home team, that’s expected. One wise word of warning – learn at least one players name from the team because it got really awkward when I was asked who my favorite player was.
The grocery store is great because there are so many things you can ask a cute guy to help you with. Like if you both happen to be in the cereal aisle, and you just can’t reach the top shelf to get the Lucky Charms down. That’s when you turn to the good looking guy beside you, put that helpless look on your face and ask him if he could possibly try to help you. Guys love to feel needed, even better if they think you would be completely lost if they weren’t there to help you. After they get the cereal for you, make sure they know how much you appreciate it, try saying; “thank you so much. I don’t know why they make these shelves so high. I should have you every time I go grocery shopping.” Then smile and giggle. Hopefully you are able to start up a conversation from his response, and even if he doesn’t ask for your number, chances are that he’s a regular at the grocery store so the next time you see him, you can approach him. You can also try asking for help opening those god awful plastic bags in the produce section, or ask how you can tell if a fruit is ripe.
Obviously you may not need help, and are fully capable of doing things for yourself, but a wise woman once told me that every now and then a guy needs to think that you do need him. She demonstrated this by taking her glasses off and asking a young guy to fix them for her (there was nothing wrong with her glasses). He took them in his hands and looked at them, then she said “you fixed them, thank you” and tried to take them back. But the guy was adamant that he should tighten the screws and ran off to go find something that he could use to accomplish that. When he came back he was beaming with pride and happily handed the “fixed” glasses back over (the funny part is that he actually ended up breaking the screw inside the arm of the glasses, and they had to be taken in to be repaired). I’m not saying be totally helpless, because that’s unattractive. I like to think of it as “playing Snow White” every now and again, just to let them feel like a Prince.
Monday, February 22, 2010
But the bad guys are just so much more fun then the nice normal ones…
I have a type of guy that I go after, most women do. Physical appearance alone, give me a tall, broad shouldered guy with a square jaw and dark hair and I’ll marry him tomorrow. It’s a horrible weakness, especially since I read an article last year about a study done in England. Apparently you can tell a person’s promiscuity by their facial features. The more promiscuous men had square jaws, smaller eyes and an overall more masculine appearance. So excellent, I’m attracted to he-whores! But then it got better, because as the study went on it said that men who were looking for short term, casual relationships will go after women who have big eyes, big lips and small jaws. Then it showed a picture of this type of woman… she looked like me. Super.
Ok, so appearance wise, I have an uphill battle going, but what about personality? Looks are important, I’m not going to pretend they aren’t, that’s the first thing you judge a person on. But personality is equally important. Jake and I could sit and talk for hours and time would fly past because we got along so well. (Jake however had a very square jaw and the attributes that go along with that, if you catch my drift.) If a guy doesn’t have a good personality and can’t keep me interested he’s useless to me (or he may end up in the Cheap Thrill category). When I get bored, I simply move on. Why waste my time on someone who can’t even keep my interest at the beginning of a relationship?
My friend Valerie was dating a perfectly nice, cute guy but he was boring as hell. She said he would just talk about things that she didn’t care about, to the point where during dinner she would actually listen to other table’s conversations instead of what he was saying. Valerie said his talking was non-stop, and it started as soon as they woke up in the morning. Finally one morning she snapped and said “Listening to you is like constantly having the Documentary Channel on! I just don’t care, I can’t take anymore!”
The types of guys that I’m dating now are great arm candy and always entertaining, but definitely not the type of guy that I would ever marry. But I’m not looking to get married now and if I’m only allowed to be young and foolish once, I’m going to take full advantage of that. In fact, on the topic of foolish, maybe I’ll see what Cheap Thrill has been up to lately.
Ok, so appearance wise, I have an uphill battle going, but what about personality? Looks are important, I’m not going to pretend they aren’t, that’s the first thing you judge a person on. But personality is equally important. Jake and I could sit and talk for hours and time would fly past because we got along so well. (Jake however had a very square jaw and the attributes that go along with that, if you catch my drift.) If a guy doesn’t have a good personality and can’t keep me interested he’s useless to me (or he may end up in the Cheap Thrill category). When I get bored, I simply move on. Why waste my time on someone who can’t even keep my interest at the beginning of a relationship?
My friend Valerie was dating a perfectly nice, cute guy but he was boring as hell. She said he would just talk about things that she didn’t care about, to the point where during dinner she would actually listen to other table’s conversations instead of what he was saying. Valerie said his talking was non-stop, and it started as soon as they woke up in the morning. Finally one morning she snapped and said “Listening to you is like constantly having the Documentary Channel on! I just don’t care, I can’t take anymore!”
The types of guys that I’m dating now are great arm candy and always entertaining, but definitely not the type of guy that I would ever marry. But I’m not looking to get married now and if I’m only allowed to be young and foolish once, I’m going to take full advantage of that. In fact, on the topic of foolish, maybe I’ll see what Cheap Thrill has been up to lately.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Just another bad date...
A date that gets put in the category of "bad date" is usually due to things like wrong choice of restaurant or you just didn't click with him. I've never really had a terrible date, unlike my friend Sophie. She actually has nightmares, I've never met anyone that has dating stories quite like hers. Therefore, her stories make a perfect addition to our blog. There are so many to choose from, she literally has told me dozens, but I'm partial to the following one.
Sophie met Ted in a coffee shop and he asked her out, he was cute and seemed relatively normal, so she said yes. It was Saturday morning and they went for a hike, (I give Sophie points for that, because the last thing I'm going to do with a guy I don't know is go into the woods alone with him. That's like a Dateline story waiting to happen). Either way, Sophie made it out of the woods, and actually had a really good time. Ted was dropping her off at her condo and he asked her what she was doing later, and did she want to have dinner? Sophie said she would love to and Ted replied "Great! I'll come over around 7pm and cook for you." Sophie is really nice, too nice, here is where she should have said either a restaurant, his place or nothing at all. Its very peculiar for someone to invite themself over to their date's apartment to cook when you've never had a meal together before. Sophie, was caught off guard, she found it odd, but said it was ok.
Jump forward to 6pm, Sophie is in the shower washing her hair and she hears knocking. She ignored it because Ted isn't expected for another hour and besides that she's in an condo so he needs to be buzzed up first. But the knocking gets louder, so Sophie gets out of the shower to go see who's at her door.
Why its Ted!! Apparently someone let him in the main door (at this point I would dial 91 and have my finger waiting over the last 1), so here stood Ted with bags of groceries in hand. Dripping wet Sophie asks him why he's so early and he says he just "couldn't wait". She tells him she needs to finish showering and for him to please have a seat on the couch and wait for her. Sophie finishes her shower and can hear pots and pans banging in the other room. She walks out to see that Ted has made himself right at home and has gone through all her cupboards to get what he needed to start dinner. Sophie then went back into the bathroom and proceeded to dry her hair for 45 minutes while trying to figure out what to do. She says to his credit he was actually a very good cook. He then told Sophie that he wanted to take her Salsa dancing. The dinner had actually gone well despite the rocky start so she agreed.
Salsa dancing turned into meeting up with some of her friends at a club and because they were both drinking they took a cab back to her place, where his car was. He asked her if it would be ok if he stayed on her couch instead of cabbing home and coming back for his car in the morning (the answer is no). Sophie being too nice for her own good said ok. She made up the couch for him and then she shut her bedroom door and went to bed. Morning time comes and Sophie turns over only to discover that at some point in the night Ted migrated into her bed (this is the type of guy that makes a hair doll)! Not only that, but he then tried to make a move on her!
So that was Ted, and I wish I could say that that was the worst date Sophie ever had, but its not even close. Sophie is one of my favorite people in the whole world, she provides me with endless entertainment. I think the lesson here is that its ok to be mean, its not even being mean, its giving the guy a reality check.
Sophie met Ted in a coffee shop and he asked her out, he was cute and seemed relatively normal, so she said yes. It was Saturday morning and they went for a hike, (I give Sophie points for that, because the last thing I'm going to do with a guy I don't know is go into the woods alone with him. That's like a Dateline story waiting to happen). Either way, Sophie made it out of the woods, and actually had a really good time. Ted was dropping her off at her condo and he asked her what she was doing later, and did she want to have dinner? Sophie said she would love to and Ted replied "Great! I'll come over around 7pm and cook for you." Sophie is really nice, too nice, here is where she should have said either a restaurant, his place or nothing at all. Its very peculiar for someone to invite themself over to their date's apartment to cook when you've never had a meal together before. Sophie, was caught off guard, she found it odd, but said it was ok.
Jump forward to 6pm, Sophie is in the shower washing her hair and she hears knocking. She ignored it because Ted isn't expected for another hour and besides that she's in an condo so he needs to be buzzed up first. But the knocking gets louder, so Sophie gets out of the shower to go see who's at her door.
Why its Ted!! Apparently someone let him in the main door (at this point I would dial 91 and have my finger waiting over the last 1), so here stood Ted with bags of groceries in hand. Dripping wet Sophie asks him why he's so early and he says he just "couldn't wait". She tells him she needs to finish showering and for him to please have a seat on the couch and wait for her. Sophie finishes her shower and can hear pots and pans banging in the other room. She walks out to see that Ted has made himself right at home and has gone through all her cupboards to get what he needed to start dinner. Sophie then went back into the bathroom and proceeded to dry her hair for 45 minutes while trying to figure out what to do. She says to his credit he was actually a very good cook. He then told Sophie that he wanted to take her Salsa dancing. The dinner had actually gone well despite the rocky start so she agreed.
Salsa dancing turned into meeting up with some of her friends at a club and because they were both drinking they took a cab back to her place, where his car was. He asked her if it would be ok if he stayed on her couch instead of cabbing home and coming back for his car in the morning (the answer is no). Sophie being too nice for her own good said ok. She made up the couch for him and then she shut her bedroom door and went to bed. Morning time comes and Sophie turns over only to discover that at some point in the night Ted migrated into her bed (this is the type of guy that makes a hair doll)! Not only that, but he then tried to make a move on her!
So that was Ted, and I wish I could say that that was the worst date Sophie ever had, but its not even close. Sophie is one of my favorite people in the whole world, she provides me with endless entertainment. I think the lesson here is that its ok to be mean, its not even being mean, its giving the guy a reality check.
Oh Canada! Thank you for importing all the gorgeous men in!
My fabulous readers,
I've gone to find myself an Olympian and material to write about for my blog. We'll call this "research".
I'm going to try to update all of you from my phone, but I'm thinking most of my time will be spent trying to get into the Athlete's Village.
I hear George Clooney is in town too, but I was warned that he "walks on both sides of the street" if you know what I mean.
I love you all! Update soon!
-Becca
I've gone to find myself an Olympian and material to write about for my blog. We'll call this "research".
I'm going to try to update all of you from my phone, but I'm thinking most of my time will be spent trying to get into the Athlete's Village.
I hear George Clooney is in town too, but I was warned that he "walks on both sides of the street" if you know what I mean.
I love you all! Update soon!
-Becca
Monday, February 15, 2010
Can you call my phone? I think it might be broken... he said he was going to call and I haven't heard from him...
When I’m expecting a call from a guy, my cell phone becomes the enemy. Not just a regular enemy either, it’s like Hitler. Every time an alert goes off my heart will stop. When I realize that I’m at this level of anticipation and anxiety I turn my phone off. I’ve discovered it’s not healthy for me to become so obsessed over another person’s ability to pick up the phone. This usually happens with new crush territory. If I could bottle the intoxicating feeling that a person gets when they have a new crush I would be a millionaire.
I usually give a guy 3-4 days to call me before I write them off. Not to say that there isn’t a possibility that they will call after that, there’s a good possibility they will. But there’s a good possibility I won’t answer.
Unless there’s a good reason they couldn’t call I consider over 5 days too long. If they’ve waited almost a week to call you they obviously have other things (or people) to do and you’re not on that list. The problem with having a crush on a guy is that you’re more then happy to make excuses for him because you like him so much.
I decided to go to my favorite male friend to discuss why a guy would go a week in between calling or just stop calling altogether.
He said that there are a couple of reasons, but this one stood out the most; guys just like the chase and if he’s got a girl and it was easy, he loses interest fast because there’s no challenge (I cleaned up his language a lot).
Usually the guy will keep stringing you along because he knows that you like him, and he knows you’ll come back to him. He doesn’t have to try anymore because he’s already got you, and you’re making it so easy for him. He really loses interest in pursuing anything else with you besides the obvious.
Guys love to hunt, so by answering every time he calls and by dropping things so you can see him, he doesn’t feel the challenge. But if a guy has to pursue you, and he has to work hard to get you, he’s going to be so happy when he finally does get you that he won’t want to let you go.
I haven’t waited by my phone for a guy to call me in a very long time. Using common sense, if a guy likes me, he’s going to call me. It’s as simple as that. If he wants to see how far he can push me and how much he can get away with, well then I welcome the challenge. He usually is shocked when he finds that I’ve made other plans and can’t fit him into my schedule anymore. Things got much simpler when I stopped making excuses for the guys who couldn’t call. And I’m much happier now; it’s a very good feeling when you know without a doubt that you’re getting that call from him.
I usually give a guy 3-4 days to call me before I write them off. Not to say that there isn’t a possibility that they will call after that, there’s a good possibility they will. But there’s a good possibility I won’t answer.
Unless there’s a good reason they couldn’t call I consider over 5 days too long. If they’ve waited almost a week to call you they obviously have other things (or people) to do and you’re not on that list. The problem with having a crush on a guy is that you’re more then happy to make excuses for him because you like him so much.
I decided to go to my favorite male friend to discuss why a guy would go a week in between calling or just stop calling altogether.
He said that there are a couple of reasons, but this one stood out the most; guys just like the chase and if he’s got a girl and it was easy, he loses interest fast because there’s no challenge (I cleaned up his language a lot).
Usually the guy will keep stringing you along because he knows that you like him, and he knows you’ll come back to him. He doesn’t have to try anymore because he’s already got you, and you’re making it so easy for him. He really loses interest in pursuing anything else with you besides the obvious.
Guys love to hunt, so by answering every time he calls and by dropping things so you can see him, he doesn’t feel the challenge. But if a guy has to pursue you, and he has to work hard to get you, he’s going to be so happy when he finally does get you that he won’t want to let you go.
I haven’t waited by my phone for a guy to call me in a very long time. Using common sense, if a guy likes me, he’s going to call me. It’s as simple as that. If he wants to see how far he can push me and how much he can get away with, well then I welcome the challenge. He usually is shocked when he finds that I’ve made other plans and can’t fit him into my schedule anymore. Things got much simpler when I stopped making excuses for the guys who couldn’t call. And I’m much happier now; it’s a very good feeling when you know without a doubt that you’re getting that call from him.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentines Day!!
For those of you that take Valentines Day seriously; good for you! Halmark and Lindor Chocolates thank you!
I will have a new post up later today, until then, Jose and I send all our love!
Forever yours,
Becca
I will have a new post up later today, until then, Jose and I send all our love!
Forever yours,
Becca
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sure, being sexy is great. But, a man will never forget a girl who falls down the stairs, and takes him with her...
When you watch movies you see women like Halle Berry that have that natural sexiness to them. When she walks or when she drinks a cup of coffee there’s an air of seduction to every movement she makes. And then there’s me. I’m extremely clumsy, I like to think that perhaps people find it endearing, or at least they can get a good laugh when they’re around me.
I don’t even try to be sexy, mainly because I can’t take myself seriously enough to pull it together.
The first time I met Jake, I walked up to him to introduce myself and I was holding my drink. I was standing in front of him talking when the condensation on my glass mixed with my hand lotion. My drink slipped out of my hand and spilled all over his pants. For some god unknown reason he still asked me for my number and handed me his phone so I could add my info. When I was handing it back to him I accidently dropped his phone on the floor and it landed in the puddle of my spilled drink.
Actually, many of my clumsy moments happened with Jake. There was the time that we were walking outside, we were going down some giant stone steps and I fell, face first, down 3 of them. Then one time we were hanging out in his apartment and he had the heat turned up uncomfortably high. I was wearing a sweater over a tanktop so I decided to take the sweater off (I had forgotten that I pinned the sweater to the straps of my tanktop to keep it in place). So here I was sitting on the couch beside him, stuck with my arms up in the air and my sweater pulled up over my head desperately thrashing around trying to get out. Being the gentleman that he was he decided to try to help me and said “it looks like your tops are pinned together”… oh right.
Of course, I can’t forget the time I was sitting on the arm of his leather couch, in a beautiful silk dress, with my feet on the cushion of the couch talking to him. He was making dinner and said something funny. When I laugh I have a natural tendency to throw my head back, in doing so I also leaned back slightly. Here’s an important lesson for everyone, silk is very slippery on leather. I fell off the couch and landed on my back on the floor. The dinner was lovely though.
There’s no point in getting embarrassed, I personify physical comedy at its finest. I may not have a seductive air about me, but I attract attention all the same.
I don’t even try to be sexy, mainly because I can’t take myself seriously enough to pull it together.
The first time I met Jake, I walked up to him to introduce myself and I was holding my drink. I was standing in front of him talking when the condensation on my glass mixed with my hand lotion. My drink slipped out of my hand and spilled all over his pants. For some god unknown reason he still asked me for my number and handed me his phone so I could add my info. When I was handing it back to him I accidently dropped his phone on the floor and it landed in the puddle of my spilled drink.
Actually, many of my clumsy moments happened with Jake. There was the time that we were walking outside, we were going down some giant stone steps and I fell, face first, down 3 of them. Then one time we were hanging out in his apartment and he had the heat turned up uncomfortably high. I was wearing a sweater over a tanktop so I decided to take the sweater off (I had forgotten that I pinned the sweater to the straps of my tanktop to keep it in place). So here I was sitting on the couch beside him, stuck with my arms up in the air and my sweater pulled up over my head desperately thrashing around trying to get out. Being the gentleman that he was he decided to try to help me and said “it looks like your tops are pinned together”… oh right.
Of course, I can’t forget the time I was sitting on the arm of his leather couch, in a beautiful silk dress, with my feet on the cushion of the couch talking to him. He was making dinner and said something funny. When I laugh I have a natural tendency to throw my head back, in doing so I also leaned back slightly. Here’s an important lesson for everyone, silk is very slippery on leather. I fell off the couch and landed on my back on the floor. The dinner was lovely though.
There’s no point in getting embarrassed, I personify physical comedy at its finest. I may not have a seductive air about me, but I attract attention all the same.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I'm not saying I want to shave my head like Britney did but...
When things end with a guy I’m seeing, one of the first things I usually do is change my hair. If I’m moving on from a guy, I want to move on from the hair style or colour I had when I was with that guy.
You can’t really control the feelings you may still have for your Ex, but you can control how your hair looks (unless it’s humid, then your f-----). I think it’s having that sense of control that helps a person effectively move on, and refuse to return to the relationship. Ex’s always come back, usually when you have a new crush. Ex’s have a 6th sense that lets them know when you’re happy. Then they pop back in and see what emotional havoc they can cause.
I was seeing Jake and my hair was about medium length at the time. I’d seen the girls that he usually dated and each looked identical to the other; they were all fake-tanned, anorexicly skinny with long blonde hair. We were constantly on and off, and he was almost always the one who would want to be on again.
One time he wanted to get back together and he asked me if I was single. I said yes, and asked him if he was single, he said yes. Then I asked him about the blonde girl I had just seen him with the week before, he said; “Oh, Tammy? No, that’s nothing, I would consider myself single.” (please take note of the manipulation of words that he used, he was good at that) I asked him if Tammy would consider him single, and got the obvious answer of “No”.
Anyways, one day he asked me if I would grow my hair long for him. The problem with Jake asking me to do that was, growing my hair out would take around 6-8 months. He couldn’t even give me a guarantee that he would be around in 6-8 days, let alone months. He refused to give me a status on what exactly it was we were doing together, so I happily gave us a status of Over and cut all my hair off. You will hear more about Jake, because the stuff that he would say was priceless.
But if changing your hair doesn’t help you move on from a relationship, you can always try my old standby - Jose Cuervo and Madonna. I’m not saying they’ll cure you, but for the night you'll forget all about your Ex and in the morning you'll have such a headache you wont be able to think about anything anyway!
You can’t really control the feelings you may still have for your Ex, but you can control how your hair looks (unless it’s humid, then your f-----). I think it’s having that sense of control that helps a person effectively move on, and refuse to return to the relationship. Ex’s always come back, usually when you have a new crush. Ex’s have a 6th sense that lets them know when you’re happy. Then they pop back in and see what emotional havoc they can cause.
I was seeing Jake and my hair was about medium length at the time. I’d seen the girls that he usually dated and each looked identical to the other; they were all fake-tanned, anorexicly skinny with long blonde hair. We were constantly on and off, and he was almost always the one who would want to be on again.
One time he wanted to get back together and he asked me if I was single. I said yes, and asked him if he was single, he said yes. Then I asked him about the blonde girl I had just seen him with the week before, he said; “Oh, Tammy? No, that’s nothing, I would consider myself single.” (please take note of the manipulation of words that he used, he was good at that) I asked him if Tammy would consider him single, and got the obvious answer of “No”.
Anyways, one day he asked me if I would grow my hair long for him. The problem with Jake asking me to do that was, growing my hair out would take around 6-8 months. He couldn’t even give me a guarantee that he would be around in 6-8 days, let alone months. He refused to give me a status on what exactly it was we were doing together, so I happily gave us a status of Over and cut all my hair off. You will hear more about Jake, because the stuff that he would say was priceless.
But if changing your hair doesn’t help you move on from a relationship, you can always try my old standby - Jose Cuervo and Madonna. I’m not saying they’ll cure you, but for the night you'll forget all about your Ex and in the morning you'll have such a headache you wont be able to think about anything anyway!
The really great friends will help you move a body, no questions asked...
My mother told me to always have grace, because if you react to a situation with grace and take the higher road no one can ever say anything bad about you. Although I’m sure there are people who say bad things about me, it doesn’t faze me, if I cared what people thought of me we wouldn’t have this blog! So let’s all be thankful I have no shame!
I remember having a discussion with my mom about how I would love to seek revenge on a guy that crossed me, but she told me that I must handle myself with grace . Then I asked her “What about my friends, it’s not like I’m directly doing it?” and my mom said “You can’t control what your friends do, can you? That’s their choice”.
I love my best friends, they’re my family. So when someone hurts them I get very upset, and vice versa. I saw Jake on and off for 2 years, he wasn’t always nice to me, so my friends had a few problems with him. I was with my friend Steph and we saw him in public, and I pointed him out, but I didn’t think Steph was going to do anything. Except she did; she walked right up to Jake pointed at him and screamed “You’re an Asshole!!” I was shocked, so was he. I apologized, grabbed Steph and held my laughter in as we walked away. When Steph and her boyfriend broke up (his doing) he asked her if he ran into me, should he be worried that I’d punch him. She told him yes, I’ve never punched anyone in my life, but I defiantly would have hit him, or thrown my coffee on him, or yelled “shoplifter!”.
Jake also ran into my friend Nikki, except this was more recent. Apparently Nikki still didn’t like Jake even though Jake and I hadn’t even talked to each other in months. But the thing is, when you treat someone’s best friend poorly, the best friend never forgets. Nikki was having dinner with her boyfriend in a tiny Thai restaurant where the table beside you is about 3feet away from yours. She was reading the menu and glanced up only to notice that Jake had been seated at the table beside hers and he was with a date (I wish her luck). He was sitting across from her, at first she was shocked, and then she remembered her disdain for him. She just glared at him, until she caught his eye. He was trying to place her, and then it was like lightening hit him. He grabbed his dates hand, said it was “too crowded and they needed to leave”.
I'm not condoning this behaviour, but no one can fault a person for sticking up for their best friend, that’s their job and I love my friends for being so protective. I just really can’t get back together with Jake ever again.
I remember having a discussion with my mom about how I would love to seek revenge on a guy that crossed me, but she told me that I must handle myself with grace . Then I asked her “What about my friends, it’s not like I’m directly doing it?” and my mom said “You can’t control what your friends do, can you? That’s their choice”.
I love my best friends, they’re my family. So when someone hurts them I get very upset, and vice versa. I saw Jake on and off for 2 years, he wasn’t always nice to me, so my friends had a few problems with him. I was with my friend Steph and we saw him in public, and I pointed him out, but I didn’t think Steph was going to do anything. Except she did; she walked right up to Jake pointed at him and screamed “You’re an Asshole!!” I was shocked, so was he. I apologized, grabbed Steph and held my laughter in as we walked away. When Steph and her boyfriend broke up (his doing) he asked her if he ran into me, should he be worried that I’d punch him. She told him yes, I’ve never punched anyone in my life, but I defiantly would have hit him, or thrown my coffee on him, or yelled “shoplifter!”.
Jake also ran into my friend Nikki, except this was more recent. Apparently Nikki still didn’t like Jake even though Jake and I hadn’t even talked to each other in months. But the thing is, when you treat someone’s best friend poorly, the best friend never forgets. Nikki was having dinner with her boyfriend in a tiny Thai restaurant where the table beside you is about 3feet away from yours. She was reading the menu and glanced up only to notice that Jake had been seated at the table beside hers and he was with a date (I wish her luck). He was sitting across from her, at first she was shocked, and then she remembered her disdain for him. She just glared at him, until she caught his eye. He was trying to place her, and then it was like lightening hit him. He grabbed his dates hand, said it was “too crowded and they needed to leave”.
I'm not condoning this behaviour, but no one can fault a person for sticking up for their best friend, that’s their job and I love my friends for being so protective. I just really can’t get back together with Jake ever again.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I would tell a liar that their pants are on fire, but it's much more fun to watch them burn...
Nick considered himself very smooth when it came to women, and I believe he thought he was much smarter then me since he was a few years older. Technically speaking he was a “cheap thrill” guy that I mistakenly put in the second category of “openly dateable” guy.
He was a habitual liar, and still is, I’m sure. I’m also sure he was used to dating very gullible women, which I am not.
I was just getting home from a coffee with a friend and Nick was supposed to come by so we could hang out for a bit. This is the first time I caught him outright lying. It was over text message, involved my friend Hanna and perfect timing;
Me – “Hey, I’m home now, so whenever you want to come over…”
Nick- “Cool, I’m just writing a paper at home, I’ll be maybe another half an hour”
Me – “Of course, take your time”
Hanna – “Hey, I’m at my friend Bill’s house and that guy Nick that you’re seeing is here”
Me – “Are you sure? He just told me he was writing a paper at home.”
Hanna – “Positive, he’s sitting beside me”
Me – “Excellent. I’ll have a funny story for you later. I’ll call you.”
Nick – “Almost done! Last Paragraph!”
Me – “Excellent”
Nick – “Ok, I’m just leaving my house; I’ll be there in about 15”
Me - "Can't wait!"
When Nick got there I was very happy to see him, we sat on the couch and I made sure he sat at the end, against the arm of the couch. We chit chatted for a few minutes, then I said;
“I want you to know, I like you, and the only thing that’s really important to me is honesty. As long as you’re always honest with me, everything will be good.”
Without missing a beat he said;
“I agree, there’s nothing worse then lying, I would never do that. I could never lie.”
At this point he had made it too easy. So I smiled said “excellent” and gave him a kiss. I was sitting beside him, so I put both of my legs over his; effectively trapping him between the arm of the couch and myself.
“So” I said, “what was your paper on?”
“uuuhh, nothing important, it’s boring stuff” he replied.
“I’m interested.”
“Medical chemistry stuff” he said
“Ooo that is boring. I’m happy you were able to finish though.”
“Yeah, I wish I could have come over sooner”
“Me too.” I gave him another kiss and then said;
“I know what I was going to tell you! Funniest thing; my friend Hanna, is friends with your friend Bill. I actually think you may know Hanna. You were sitting beside her tonight.”
He turned white as a ghost and he had no where to go. The only regret I have is not taking a picture of the look on his face with my phone. The thing that scares guys is when you keep a calm nonchalant attitude during a moment like this, they expect you to yell at them and get emotional. When you don’t they can’t read you and have no idea what’s going through your head (although I'm positive no one really wants to know what goes through my head). I told Nick that it would be wise if he left.
I didn't care that he was at his friend’s house, but liars make me angry. And it really was an unbelievable amount of fun for me.
He was a habitual liar, and still is, I’m sure. I’m also sure he was used to dating very gullible women, which I am not.
I was just getting home from a coffee with a friend and Nick was supposed to come by so we could hang out for a bit. This is the first time I caught him outright lying. It was over text message, involved my friend Hanna and perfect timing;
Me – “Hey, I’m home now, so whenever you want to come over…”
Nick- “Cool, I’m just writing a paper at home, I’ll be maybe another half an hour”
Me – “Of course, take your time”
Hanna – “Hey, I’m at my friend Bill’s house and that guy Nick that you’re seeing is here”
Me – “Are you sure? He just told me he was writing a paper at home.”
Hanna – “Positive, he’s sitting beside me”
Me – “Excellent. I’ll have a funny story for you later. I’ll call you.”
Nick – “Almost done! Last Paragraph!”
Me – “Excellent”
Nick – “Ok, I’m just leaving my house; I’ll be there in about 15”
Me - "Can't wait!"
When Nick got there I was very happy to see him, we sat on the couch and I made sure he sat at the end, against the arm of the couch. We chit chatted for a few minutes, then I said;
“I want you to know, I like you, and the only thing that’s really important to me is honesty. As long as you’re always honest with me, everything will be good.”
Without missing a beat he said;
“I agree, there’s nothing worse then lying, I would never do that. I could never lie.”
At this point he had made it too easy. So I smiled said “excellent” and gave him a kiss. I was sitting beside him, so I put both of my legs over his; effectively trapping him between the arm of the couch and myself.
“So” I said, “what was your paper on?”
“uuuhh, nothing important, it’s boring stuff” he replied.
“I’m interested.”
“Medical chemistry stuff” he said
“Ooo that is boring. I’m happy you were able to finish though.”
“Yeah, I wish I could have come over sooner”
“Me too.” I gave him another kiss and then said;
“I know what I was going to tell you! Funniest thing; my friend Hanna, is friends with your friend Bill. I actually think you may know Hanna. You were sitting beside her tonight.”
He turned white as a ghost and he had no where to go. The only regret I have is not taking a picture of the look on his face with my phone. The thing that scares guys is when you keep a calm nonchalant attitude during a moment like this, they expect you to yell at them and get emotional. When you don’t they can’t read you and have no idea what’s going through your head (although I'm positive no one really wants to know what goes through my head). I told Nick that it would be wise if he left.
I didn't care that he was at his friend’s house, but liars make me angry. And it really was an unbelievable amount of fun for me.
Jealous much? ...
I’m not a jealous person (unless you have a Slanket right now, because my blanket keeps falling off). I find jealously useless, it’s really not a desirable characteristic to me in the least.
I was dating Nick and even though it was still early, we had instantly bonded and seemingly everything was going very well. We decided to go to the club with a few of his friends that night. Before we left the house Nick pulled me into a room away from everyone and said he needed to talk to me.
Nick-“ We haven’t been out to the club together before, so I just wanted to let you know that I know a lot of people, so there will probably be a lot of people coming up to me.”
Me – “ok! Let’s go”
Nick – “No, like I know a lot of girls, so don’t take it the wrong way.”
Me – “I won’t, trust me, I have a lot of male friends, it really doesn’t bother me, I don’t get jealous”
And it’s true, I don’t care if a guy I’m seeing has a lot of female friends, I wouldn’t tell him to get rid of them. If a guy told me who I could and couldn’t be friends with, he should probably watch out for the scalding coffee about to be poured in his lap.
Anyways I digress; we get to the club and as soon as we get out of the car 3 girls ran up to him. I politely introduced myself and we went into the club. I was standing beside him and girl after girl came over to him to talk. But here’s the catch; I realized that not only was Nick now completely ignoring me, but he was actually openly flirting and hitting on these girls as I stood by his side (I know flirting when I see it, it’s my second language and I’m fluent in it). I may not be jealous but I am self respecting. I walked away and took a seat at the bar and started a conversation with the guy beside me who just so happened to be very good looking.
About 10 minutes later Nick finally realized that I had left his side and came looking for me. When he found me talking with the guy at the bar, he was beyond unhappy. He told me to come back over to where his friends were. I didn’t fancy being ignored again and I informed him that I was having a conversation and would be over in a few minutes. It then became evident that it was not my jealously that would be an issue, it was his. He carried on about how I was being disrespectful by talking to this guy while he’s 30ft away (the irony was killing me, and to be clear I wasn’t flirting with the guy at the bar, simply talking.). I was less than impressed with his behaviour that night and we didn’t speak for a week after that (I should have ended it then, but Nick will supply many stories for this blog, so I’m happy I didn’t).
Jealousy isn’t an option for me. If the guy I’m with would rather to go chat up some other girl and he would rather be with her, excellent. I wish them all the best in the future. I probably wouldn’t send him a wedding present though; his bride may get the wrong idea
I was dating Nick and even though it was still early, we had instantly bonded and seemingly everything was going very well. We decided to go to the club with a few of his friends that night. Before we left the house Nick pulled me into a room away from everyone and said he needed to talk to me.
Nick-“ We haven’t been out to the club together before, so I just wanted to let you know that I know a lot of people, so there will probably be a lot of people coming up to me.”
Me – “ok! Let’s go”
Nick – “No, like I know a lot of girls, so don’t take it the wrong way.”
Me – “I won’t, trust me, I have a lot of male friends, it really doesn’t bother me, I don’t get jealous”
And it’s true, I don’t care if a guy I’m seeing has a lot of female friends, I wouldn’t tell him to get rid of them. If a guy told me who I could and couldn’t be friends with, he should probably watch out for the scalding coffee about to be poured in his lap.
Anyways I digress; we get to the club and as soon as we get out of the car 3 girls ran up to him. I politely introduced myself and we went into the club. I was standing beside him and girl after girl came over to him to talk. But here’s the catch; I realized that not only was Nick now completely ignoring me, but he was actually openly flirting and hitting on these girls as I stood by his side (I know flirting when I see it, it’s my second language and I’m fluent in it). I may not be jealous but I am self respecting. I walked away and took a seat at the bar and started a conversation with the guy beside me who just so happened to be very good looking.
About 10 minutes later Nick finally realized that I had left his side and came looking for me. When he found me talking with the guy at the bar, he was beyond unhappy. He told me to come back over to where his friends were. I didn’t fancy being ignored again and I informed him that I was having a conversation and would be over in a few minutes. It then became evident that it was not my jealously that would be an issue, it was his. He carried on about how I was being disrespectful by talking to this guy while he’s 30ft away (the irony was killing me, and to be clear I wasn’t flirting with the guy at the bar, simply talking.). I was less than impressed with his behaviour that night and we didn’t speak for a week after that (I should have ended it then, but Nick will supply many stories for this blog, so I’m happy I didn’t).
Jealousy isn’t an option for me. If the guy I’m with would rather to go chat up some other girl and he would rather be with her, excellent. I wish them all the best in the future. I probably wouldn’t send him a wedding present though; his bride may get the wrong idea
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I never dated him…Why? What did you hear?...
For me guys fall into 3 categories;
1. Guys you date and only tell your best friends about
2. Guys you date openly but a relationship isn’t likely
3. Guys you date with a relationship in mind
Most of my guys I date fall into the 2nd category. I’ve had one or two in the 3rd category and a couple in the 1st category.
Today I’d like to talk about the guys in the 1st category, the “cheap thrill” as I like to call them. These aren’t the guys that send you flowers or plan out extensive dates for you. They don’t care what grades you got in school or what job you have now.
For me the guys that fall into the 1st category are usually beautiful, very athletic, charming and have nothing in common with me. I have a weakness for them; it’s like putting a bag full of candy in front someone; you know you shouldn’t have it because it’s full of empty calories, but god it sure looks good.
I call them “cheap thrills” because that’s what they provide. These are the guys that pursue you even after you’ve turned them down. They use flattery to no end, and when you have a beautiful man telling you how gorgeous he thinks you are, you can’t help but get a cheap thrill out of it. No question about it, there’s always physical chemistry there and that’s what they play off of.
I received a text message last week from a “cheap thrill” that has been openly flirting with me. The text said “we should really just make out sometime” (this was at 10am on a Thursday). Super romantic, I know, but romance isn’t what he’s going for. Let me tell you what he’s done here - he wants me to get that cheap thrill from the fact he’s interested in me and continues to pursue me. He knows I wouldn’t go for it, but by sending that message he’s got me thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. So now every time I see him, I think about that text and about kissing him. Don’t underestimate the “cheap thrill” guys, they know what they’re doing, and they’ve usually perfected getting a girl.
I’m not saying I’m going to fall for his games, but I wouldn’t leave myself alone in a room with a bag full of candy at the moment.
1. Guys you date and only tell your best friends about
2. Guys you date openly but a relationship isn’t likely
3. Guys you date with a relationship in mind
Most of my guys I date fall into the 2nd category. I’ve had one or two in the 3rd category and a couple in the 1st category.
Today I’d like to talk about the guys in the 1st category, the “cheap thrill” as I like to call them. These aren’t the guys that send you flowers or plan out extensive dates for you. They don’t care what grades you got in school or what job you have now.
For me the guys that fall into the 1st category are usually beautiful, very athletic, charming and have nothing in common with me. I have a weakness for them; it’s like putting a bag full of candy in front someone; you know you shouldn’t have it because it’s full of empty calories, but god it sure looks good.
I call them “cheap thrills” because that’s what they provide. These are the guys that pursue you even after you’ve turned them down. They use flattery to no end, and when you have a beautiful man telling you how gorgeous he thinks you are, you can’t help but get a cheap thrill out of it. No question about it, there’s always physical chemistry there and that’s what they play off of.
I received a text message last week from a “cheap thrill” that has been openly flirting with me. The text said “we should really just make out sometime” (this was at 10am on a Thursday). Super romantic, I know, but romance isn’t what he’s going for. Let me tell you what he’s done here - he wants me to get that cheap thrill from the fact he’s interested in me and continues to pursue me. He knows I wouldn’t go for it, but by sending that message he’s got me thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. So now every time I see him, I think about that text and about kissing him. Don’t underestimate the “cheap thrill” guys, they know what they’re doing, and they’ve usually perfected getting a girl.
I’m not saying I’m going to fall for his games, but I wouldn’t leave myself alone in a room with a bag full of candy at the moment.
It’s my house, it’s my mess – don’t touch it...
Ok, I’m messy...really messy. I never had a clean room as a kid, and as an adult my apartment looks like God let it rain dresses and shoes inside. But this is the way I like it, I know where everything is and it takes me 2 seconds to get it.
I was dating a guy that was a clean-freak, the fact that he liked everything orderly didn’t bother me, so I’m not sure why the fact I like things messy bothered him so much. It was like he couldn’t leave stuff alone. I left him in my living room while I was getting something out of the closet, only to come back to see him Windexing my table, the tv and my computer. I asked him what he was doing and he said “it’s more fun when everything is clean”. I just sort of stared at him, this kept happening, he would pick stuff up and move stuff around.
Here’s my problem, I didn’t go to his house and start throwing stuff on the floor because that's how I like it. He kept his place the way he liked it and I keep mine the way I like it. For some reason though neat and organized people feel the need to try to get you over to their side, kind of like a cult.
My favourite people are the closeted messy people that pretend to be neat and organized. I dated one of those too. The first time I went to his place the apartment was so clean it didn’t look lived in (I was slightly worried he was a sociopath to be honest, my friend even got me a checklist of other signs to look for). This carried on as we dated; his apartment was always freakishly spotless. Then my favourite day came! I stopped by on short notice to drop something off and he was really hesitant to let me in, once I walked in I saw why. Mess! Everywhere! I’m talking clothes all over the floor, a random old Nintendo on the stairs with accompanying games, dishes everywhere. I think I fell in love with him a little bit that day, it showed me he wasn’t perfect, which is exactly what I needed.
Being messy is part of who I am, I've been this way my whole life, I certainly don’t plan on changing now (but I bet if I marry a clean-freak he’ll hire a maid to keep up with me).
I was dating a guy that was a clean-freak, the fact that he liked everything orderly didn’t bother me, so I’m not sure why the fact I like things messy bothered him so much. It was like he couldn’t leave stuff alone. I left him in my living room while I was getting something out of the closet, only to come back to see him Windexing my table, the tv and my computer. I asked him what he was doing and he said “it’s more fun when everything is clean”. I just sort of stared at him, this kept happening, he would pick stuff up and move stuff around.
Here’s my problem, I didn’t go to his house and start throwing stuff on the floor because that's how I like it. He kept his place the way he liked it and I keep mine the way I like it. For some reason though neat and organized people feel the need to try to get you over to their side, kind of like a cult.
My favourite people are the closeted messy people that pretend to be neat and organized. I dated one of those too. The first time I went to his place the apartment was so clean it didn’t look lived in (I was slightly worried he was a sociopath to be honest, my friend even got me a checklist of other signs to look for). This carried on as we dated; his apartment was always freakishly spotless. Then my favourite day came! I stopped by on short notice to drop something off and he was really hesitant to let me in, once I walked in I saw why. Mess! Everywhere! I’m talking clothes all over the floor, a random old Nintendo on the stairs with accompanying games, dishes everywhere. I think I fell in love with him a little bit that day, it showed me he wasn’t perfect, which is exactly what I needed.
Being messy is part of who I am, I've been this way my whole life, I certainly don’t plan on changing now (but I bet if I marry a clean-freak he’ll hire a maid to keep up with me).
Monday, February 8, 2010
Let go of the branch, then we’ll talk…
A few years ago I was being heavily pursued by a man that had a girlfriend. He had been with his girlfriend for 3 years, she was beautiful, yet he kept asking me out. He would phone me at all the time just to talk, and I would ask him where his girlfriend was. Eventually I just stopped picking up his calls and he developed a healthy relationship with my answering machine. It went a little something like this;
“You’ve reached Becca; sorry I couldn’t answer your call (no I wasn’t), please leave a message.”
Beep
“Hey, it’s Sam, just wondering what you’re doing. Call me back.” (I'm avoiding you)
Beep
“Hey, I’m just going to get dinner, do you want to come? Call me back.” (nope)
Beep
“Hey, I’m at Earls if you want to come meet me.” (no chance)
Beep
“I’m just leaving Earls, wanted to let you know in case you were on your way down here, I’ll wait 10 more minutes just in case.” (please hold your breath)
Beep
“We must have missed each other, but give me a call, we can hang out tomorrow if you’re free.” (haha, oook. I'd rather take up with the homeless man that lives in the dumpster. I believe his name is Oscar)
Beep
THIS RECIPIENT’S VOICEMAIL INBOX IS FULL (thank god)
I couldn’t understand why he was turning borderline Fatal Attraction when he was the one that had a girlfriend. I was talking to my friend Nikki about it and she simply said that he’s a “monkey”. I asked her to please elaborate.
A “monkey” is someone who won’t get rid of their boyfriend or girlfriend, even though they don’t want to be with them anymore, that is until they’re sure they have another one lined up to take that persons place. Like a monkey won’t let go of one branch until he’s sure he has another branch in his other hand to swing to.
I’ve never had anything make more sense to me. After she said that I’ve noticed many other people who display this same behavior (not to the same stalkerish degree as Sam) but it’s definitely there.
So I have to ask; is it really that scary for some people to be alone? Is it worth staying with someone you’re no longer interested in just because it’s become comfortable? If I don’t have those feelings for someone anymore, staying with them is the last thing that I’m going to do.
And please, you tell me you’ll leave your girlfriend for me (that’s major disrespect to the girlfriend). What makes me think you won’t be telling another girl the same thing once we’re together?
Let go of the branch first and maybe then we’ll talk.
“You’ve reached Becca; sorry I couldn’t answer your call (no I wasn’t), please leave a message.”
Beep
“Hey, it’s Sam, just wondering what you’re doing. Call me back.” (I'm avoiding you)
Beep
“Hey, I’m just going to get dinner, do you want to come? Call me back.” (nope)
Beep
“Hey, I’m at Earls if you want to come meet me.” (no chance)
Beep
“I’m just leaving Earls, wanted to let you know in case you were on your way down here, I’ll wait 10 more minutes just in case.” (please hold your breath)
Beep
“We must have missed each other, but give me a call, we can hang out tomorrow if you’re free.” (haha, oook. I'd rather take up with the homeless man that lives in the dumpster. I believe his name is Oscar)
Beep
THIS RECIPIENT’S VOICEMAIL INBOX IS FULL (thank god)
I couldn’t understand why he was turning borderline Fatal Attraction when he was the one that had a girlfriend. I was talking to my friend Nikki about it and she simply said that he’s a “monkey”. I asked her to please elaborate.
A “monkey” is someone who won’t get rid of their boyfriend or girlfriend, even though they don’t want to be with them anymore, that is until they’re sure they have another one lined up to take that persons place. Like a monkey won’t let go of one branch until he’s sure he has another branch in his other hand to swing to.
I’ve never had anything make more sense to me. After she said that I’ve noticed many other people who display this same behavior (not to the same stalkerish degree as Sam) but it’s definitely there.
So I have to ask; is it really that scary for some people to be alone? Is it worth staying with someone you’re no longer interested in just because it’s become comfortable? If I don’t have those feelings for someone anymore, staying with them is the last thing that I’m going to do.
And please, you tell me you’ll leave your girlfriend for me (that’s major disrespect to the girlfriend). What makes me think you won’t be telling another girl the same thing once we’re together?
Let go of the branch first and maybe then we’ll talk.
A Little Competition is Healthy…
I remember reading an article a couple of years ago that suggested you date 3 men at the same time. It said you should tell each of them about the other one, and sleep with none of them. The idea behind this was that by dating 3 guys, you learn quickly what you like and don’t like and you can pick the guy that suites you best.
I did manage to find 3 guys and I dated them all at the same time. Never Again. It was absolutely exhausting, took up all of my free time, and to top it off I got them confused. I forgot what guy I was talking to on the phone and started mentioning a date that he didn’t take me on. After this I decided dating 2 guys at the same time was my limit.
I did however discover a wonderful secret that I use even if I’m only dating one guy. Sense of competition = extra effort on his part. Around the 3rd date, I usually sit the guy down beside me (this is key), put on my most innocent face and have a talk with him. By now I have it memorized;
“I just wanted to let you know, because I want to be totally honest, and it’s not a big deal, but I am seeing someone else as well. I started seeing him around the same time I started seeing you. Obviously it’s not serious, and I’m not sleeping with either of you. But I just thought you should know.”
Here is where his ego takes over; 9 out of 10 times, he’ll play it cool, sometimes the guy will even say they’re dating someone else too. After you get his reaction back, give him a relieved smile, take his arm, put it around you and snuggle up to him. I’ll wager $100 that he’s thinking about that other guys arm around you.
Men are naturally competitive, after I tell a guy that I’m seeing someone else besides him, his effort and attention paid to me increases exponentially. They can’t stand the thought of losing a girl to another guy (especially fun if you put a fresh bouquet of flowers on your table and you tell him they’re from “a friend” when he asks. Because then you’ll have 2 bouquets of flowers, or jewelry if you’re really lucky).
It boils down to this, although every guy I’ve ever dated has said “I don’t play games, I don’t like games” they All play games. Dating is a game; it’s relationships that are work. So I suggest always having fun with dating but remember that men do have feelings too (especially the overly emotional ones) so be nice.
I did manage to find 3 guys and I dated them all at the same time. Never Again. It was absolutely exhausting, took up all of my free time, and to top it off I got them confused. I forgot what guy I was talking to on the phone and started mentioning a date that he didn’t take me on. After this I decided dating 2 guys at the same time was my limit.
I did however discover a wonderful secret that I use even if I’m only dating one guy. Sense of competition = extra effort on his part. Around the 3rd date, I usually sit the guy down beside me (this is key), put on my most innocent face and have a talk with him. By now I have it memorized;
“I just wanted to let you know, because I want to be totally honest, and it’s not a big deal, but I am seeing someone else as well. I started seeing him around the same time I started seeing you. Obviously it’s not serious, and I’m not sleeping with either of you. But I just thought you should know.”
Here is where his ego takes over; 9 out of 10 times, he’ll play it cool, sometimes the guy will even say they’re dating someone else too. After you get his reaction back, give him a relieved smile, take his arm, put it around you and snuggle up to him. I’ll wager $100 that he’s thinking about that other guys arm around you.
Men are naturally competitive, after I tell a guy that I’m seeing someone else besides him, his effort and attention paid to me increases exponentially. They can’t stand the thought of losing a girl to another guy (especially fun if you put a fresh bouquet of flowers on your table and you tell him they’re from “a friend” when he asks. Because then you’ll have 2 bouquets of flowers, or jewelry if you’re really lucky).
It boils down to this, although every guy I’ve ever dated has said “I don’t play games, I don’t like games” they All play games. Dating is a game; it’s relationships that are work. So I suggest always having fun with dating but remember that men do have feelings too (especially the overly emotional ones) so be nice.
Thank You!!!
I’m so humbled by the response my blog is getting and the number of page hits I’ve gotten in the few short days that I’ve been writing.
Thank you everyone for your support and for reading about my life as a bachelorette.
I appreciate your feedback and welcome suggestions for topics.
You can email me at beccathebachelorette@gmail.com
Thank you again!!
-Becca
Thank you everyone for your support and for reading about my life as a bachelorette.
I appreciate your feedback and welcome suggestions for topics.
You can email me at beccathebachelorette@gmail.com
Thank you again!!
-Becca
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I love you...but I love my Manolos more...
I have a type – stiletto and 4½ inches. There’s no faster way to lower your BMI number then to throw on a pair of heels. I can’t pinpoint exactly when wearing heels became an everyday thing for me, but I couldn’t live without them now. The odd time I’m in flats I always get “whoa, you’re a lot shorter than you seem”. Truth be told, I’m not that short – I’m 5’6”, but when people see you walking around every day at 5’10½” they forget you’re not actually that tall.
So here’s where my height restriction comes in- guys 5’10” and below, need not apply. I can’t date a guy that’s shorter than me; I am an admitted height snob. I do realize that I’m only 5’6” and the heels can come off, I’m not delusional. But here’s the problem; if I dated someone that was say 5’8” for example, sure, in runners when we stood beside each other, totally fine. We could have wonderful dates of nature hikes (fyi- most things that live outdoors, scares the hell out of me) and whatever else it is that people [who wear running shoes on dates] do. But what happens when we have to go to a fancy dinner? I’m in a dress that absolutely requires heels and suddenly I’m Nicole Kidman to his Tom Cruise. Every picture taken would be of me trying to crouch, so as not to appear taller than him.
So you see? It simply doesn’t work for me. I’m not saying I need the guy to be a giant, but he absolutely must be over 5’11” (and handsome...and funny...and be ok with being written about in a blog).
So here’s where my height restriction comes in- guys 5’10” and below, need not apply. I can’t date a guy that’s shorter than me; I am an admitted height snob. I do realize that I’m only 5’6” and the heels can come off, I’m not delusional. But here’s the problem; if I dated someone that was say 5’8” for example, sure, in runners when we stood beside each other, totally fine. We could have wonderful dates of nature hikes (fyi- most things that live outdoors, scares the hell out of me) and whatever else it is that people [who wear running shoes on dates] do. But what happens when we have to go to a fancy dinner? I’m in a dress that absolutely requires heels and suddenly I’m Nicole Kidman to his Tom Cruise. Every picture taken would be of me trying to crouch, so as not to appear taller than him.
So you see? It simply doesn’t work for me. I’m not saying I need the guy to be a giant, but he absolutely must be over 5’11” (and handsome...and funny...and be ok with being written about in a blog).
Friday, February 5, 2010
No, you can’t cry on my shoulder; I’m wearing silk…
I’ll be honest; I’m not the most emotional person in the world. I’ll get loud, I may get frustrated occasionally, but emotional I am not. I like to think it’s the delightful mix of supplements (full of “naturally occurring” caffeine) and Ritalin that keep me in my happy disposition. But there seems to suddenly be an epidemic of overly emotional men.
I’m not talking about sensitive; if a guy can appreciate how adorable a puppy is, or adopts an orphan in Africa off TV, I get that. I’m talking about the secure confident males that are being replaced with insecure, overly emotional males.
Recently I was to go on a date with a grown, 35 year old man. He had to reschedule our date, to which my response was “of course, no worries” because really it’s not a big deal. So when I had to do the same thing to him a few days later, imagine my shock to receive a message back saying; “Omg! I’m sooooooooo sad!” - That by the way is not an exaggeration – there really were nine o’s on that so.
My friend Valerie was dating a guy, who was a little insecure, but he was cute and nice so she was ok with it. That is until the day he lost it in public. They got into a light argument downtown, nothing of real importance, really no big deal. Then out of no where he started bawling; tears, hyperventilating the whole 9 yards. In public!
Another friend told me she had 2 of her male friends crying in her arms over their ex-girlfriends in the same month.
And yet another friend who said her date started crying during Extreme Home Makeover (in all fairness to him, sometimes that can be justified; those terminal kids are just so damn cute).
Call me old fashioned, but I like my men to be just that; men. I want to know that if something jumps out of the bushes, you’re not going to use me as a shield.
So the next time a man starts to get overly emotional, just look deep into his eyes and say what we've heard for decades; “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
I’m not talking about sensitive; if a guy can appreciate how adorable a puppy is, or adopts an orphan in Africa off TV, I get that. I’m talking about the secure confident males that are being replaced with insecure, overly emotional males.
Recently I was to go on a date with a grown, 35 year old man. He had to reschedule our date, to which my response was “of course, no worries” because really it’s not a big deal. So when I had to do the same thing to him a few days later, imagine my shock to receive a message back saying; “Omg! I’m sooooooooo sad!” - That by the way is not an exaggeration – there really were nine o’s on that so.
My friend Valerie was dating a guy, who was a little insecure, but he was cute and nice so she was ok with it. That is until the day he lost it in public. They got into a light argument downtown, nothing of real importance, really no big deal. Then out of no where he started bawling; tears, hyperventilating the whole 9 yards. In public!
Another friend told me she had 2 of her male friends crying in her arms over their ex-girlfriends in the same month.
And yet another friend who said her date started crying during Extreme Home Makeover (in all fairness to him, sometimes that can be justified; those terminal kids are just so damn cute).
Call me old fashioned, but I like my men to be just that; men. I want to know that if something jumps out of the bushes, you’re not going to use me as a shield.
So the next time a man starts to get overly emotional, just look deep into his eyes and say what we've heard for decades; “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Hello, its effort calling...
As I start to plan a wonderful Valentines Day for me and my long time lover; Jose Cuervo, I can’t help but point out what little effort people are putting in when it comes to actually asking a person out lately.
I started a new rule a while ago that I would only go out on a date with a guy if he actually picked up the phone to call me. Nothing is worse then getting a text message asking you out on a date. If you can’t put the effort in to pick up the phone, then why would I put the effort in to go out with you?
Most recently I had given my number to a guy, who in turn kept asking me out over text message for 3 weeks straight. He said he usually wasn’t so persistent but there was something special about me. However, as special as I may be to him, not once did he attempt to have a real conversation with me.
We all spend so much of our day emailing, facebooking, tweeting, instant messaging, text messaging and bbm-ing. I have to ask; when it comes to trying to actually make a connection with someone, why would you want it to be so impersonal?
Below are some of the text messages I’ve got recently;
11:25pm: Hey Rebecca, You free tomorrow night? – Sorry, my phone doesn’t answer male desperation past 10pm.
Hey Rebecca, if you let me take you out, it will be great! – He sure was optimistic!
Have you see Avatar?? I’d like to take you – x4 in the last month. And no, I don’t want to spend 3 hours beside you, in the dark. I've never had a conversation with you.
It’s Tom, we met the other night at Amy’s. Do you want to come to a magic show with me on Thursday? – I mean at least he was original, in a weird pedophile type of way.
And then sometimes I just mess with them...
Hey it’s Alex from the other night, did you want to go out sometime?
Who?
Alex, we met at the pub.
Are you just a bit taller then me, with blonde hair?
No, I’m 6’2” with dark hair.
I don’t remember you, but you sound better looking then the other guy. Send me a picture without your shirt on, holding a puppy?
Oddly enough i didn't hear from Alex again.
I started a new rule a while ago that I would only go out on a date with a guy if he actually picked up the phone to call me. Nothing is worse then getting a text message asking you out on a date. If you can’t put the effort in to pick up the phone, then why would I put the effort in to go out with you?
Most recently I had given my number to a guy, who in turn kept asking me out over text message for 3 weeks straight. He said he usually wasn’t so persistent but there was something special about me. However, as special as I may be to him, not once did he attempt to have a real conversation with me.
We all spend so much of our day emailing, facebooking, tweeting, instant messaging, text messaging and bbm-ing. I have to ask; when it comes to trying to actually make a connection with someone, why would you want it to be so impersonal?
Below are some of the text messages I’ve got recently;
11:25pm: Hey Rebecca, You free tomorrow night? – Sorry, my phone doesn’t answer male desperation past 10pm.
Hey Rebecca, if you let me take you out, it will be great! – He sure was optimistic!
Have you see Avatar?? I’d like to take you – x4 in the last month. And no, I don’t want to spend 3 hours beside you, in the dark. I've never had a conversation with you.
It’s Tom, we met the other night at Amy’s. Do you want to come to a magic show with me on Thursday? – I mean at least he was original, in a weird pedophile type of way.
And then sometimes I just mess with them...
Hey it’s Alex from the other night, did you want to go out sometime?
Who?
Alex, we met at the pub.
Are you just a bit taller then me, with blonde hair?
No, I’m 6’2” with dark hair.
I don’t remember you, but you sound better looking then the other guy. Send me a picture without your shirt on, holding a puppy?
Oddly enough i didn't hear from Alex again.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
When “playing crazy” on a date goes wrong…
I was on a date recently, and I will begin by saying there was nothing terribly wrong with this guy, but he was nowhere close to my type. This was a setup from a mutual friend, and although I generally don’t agree to setups, he sounded very promising.
About 20minutes into the date I could tell there wouldn’t be a second date. To avoid having to turn him down later, when he would inevitably phone for the second date, I decided to have some fun to make sure he wouldn’t want a second date with me.
I’m a very convincing person, it’s not by accident I received a 93% in Acting in grade 12. So I put on my serious face over the beautiful candlelit table, looked him right in the eye and asked “Are you worried about dying alone? I am. I mean not totally alone, I’ll have cats, but you know what I mean?” He told me he was sure I wont die alone (obviously I wont, he may though) and politely changed the topic.
He started telling me how he pays off his credit card statement in full every month because it’s very important. So I told him that I loooove to shop, uncontrollably, all the time. I told him I max out my credit cards but its ok, because they just keep increasing my limit. He asked if I was a “minimum payment” type. To which I answered “yes, well I certainly try, but I always seem to spend the money on alcohol before I can pay my Visa.” Then tilted my head to the left and smiled. He seemed a little confused and asked if I drank a lot; “oh, well, no, I wouldn’t say a lot, I mean I blackout a lot, but I only drink every weekend.”
God bless him, trying again to change the topic, he asked what my favorite car is. “I don’t like cars. I like shoes.” So he asked what my favorite shoe is. At this point I leaned in, with a very serious look on my face and whispered “I can’t tell you, because the other shoes will get jealous.” Then I flared my eyes.
Here’s where “playing crazy” goes wrong; he wasn’t running for the hills, in fact, he was having a good time. Dinner was over and I was trying to make my polite exit, he said he wanted to walk me home; I declined and said I was going to the drug store first. He asked if he could come with me… I told him no. So when I tried to say goodbye to him at the drug store, he told me he would wait outside for me until I finished shopping. This is where London Drugs failed me, because they had no other exit that I could use that wouldn’t set off the fire alarm. And so, indeed he was still waiting for me outside, and even though I told him several times that it was not necessary for him to walk me home, he did anyway. While walking he said “don’t you feel so much safer with me?” the answer was no, I felt safer with my personal alarm. But I told him “yes, because the attackers would go for you first, so I would have time to get away.” I got home, patted him on the shoulder and ran inside.
Not only did I get a text message that same night saying what wonderful company I was, and that he wanted to hang out again that weekend, but he also called me on Sunday evening.
Sometimes, despite one’s best efforts to sabotage a date; having to reject someone is inevitable.
About 20minutes into the date I could tell there wouldn’t be a second date. To avoid having to turn him down later, when he would inevitably phone for the second date, I decided to have some fun to make sure he wouldn’t want a second date with me.
I’m a very convincing person, it’s not by accident I received a 93% in Acting in grade 12. So I put on my serious face over the beautiful candlelit table, looked him right in the eye and asked “Are you worried about dying alone? I am. I mean not totally alone, I’ll have cats, but you know what I mean?” He told me he was sure I wont die alone (obviously I wont, he may though) and politely changed the topic.
He started telling me how he pays off his credit card statement in full every month because it’s very important. So I told him that I loooove to shop, uncontrollably, all the time. I told him I max out my credit cards but its ok, because they just keep increasing my limit. He asked if I was a “minimum payment” type. To which I answered “yes, well I certainly try, but I always seem to spend the money on alcohol before I can pay my Visa.” Then tilted my head to the left and smiled. He seemed a little confused and asked if I drank a lot; “oh, well, no, I wouldn’t say a lot, I mean I blackout a lot, but I only drink every weekend.”
God bless him, trying again to change the topic, he asked what my favorite car is. “I don’t like cars. I like shoes.” So he asked what my favorite shoe is. At this point I leaned in, with a very serious look on my face and whispered “I can’t tell you, because the other shoes will get jealous.” Then I flared my eyes.
Here’s where “playing crazy” goes wrong; he wasn’t running for the hills, in fact, he was having a good time. Dinner was over and I was trying to make my polite exit, he said he wanted to walk me home; I declined and said I was going to the drug store first. He asked if he could come with me… I told him no. So when I tried to say goodbye to him at the drug store, he told me he would wait outside for me until I finished shopping. This is where London Drugs failed me, because they had no other exit that I could use that wouldn’t set off the fire alarm. And so, indeed he was still waiting for me outside, and even though I told him several times that it was not necessary for him to walk me home, he did anyway. While walking he said “don’t you feel so much safer with me?” the answer was no, I felt safer with my personal alarm. But I told him “yes, because the attackers would go for you first, so I would have time to get away.” I got home, patted him on the shoulder and ran inside.
Not only did I get a text message that same night saying what wonderful company I was, and that he wanted to hang out again that weekend, but he also called me on Sunday evening.
Sometimes, despite one’s best efforts to sabotage a date; having to reject someone is inevitable.
Because not every girl wants to be engaged at 22…
My sister is 24 and getting married; she’s been engaged for 2 years and has been with the groom since she was 17. It’s a good thing; I’m a huge fan of the groom.
My sister and I are pretty much day and night, although we look alike, that’s where a lot of the similarities stop.
Being in my early 20's a long term relationship is the last thing on my list of what I’m looking for. I love being single, I really do, I’m good at it. Why would I give up something I love? Not to mention the stories I get from the dates I go on are actually priceless.
My sister and I are pretty much day and night, although we look alike, that’s where a lot of the similarities stop.
Being in my early 20's a long term relationship is the last thing on my list of what I’m looking for. I love being single, I really do, I’m good at it. Why would I give up something I love? Not to mention the stories I get from the dates I go on are actually priceless.
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